The Saturday before Lily's birthday, we celebrated with some of the family. Going home, I was actively trying to ignore more contractions. As much as I wanted them to be real so I could be done with this especially difficult pregnancy, Jeff's parents, who were supposed to take the older kids while I went to the hospital, were out of town.
As the night went on and we got the kids in bed, I became much more unsure about the seriousness of the contractions, and I started to have some other concerns as well. After doing some timing and internet research, I decided I wasn't in labor, but I had a feeling I should go to the hospital anyway. I tried to ignore it because logic and reason told me everything was fine and I the hospital would just monitor me and send me home if I went. I even told Jeff we should just go to bed. But throughout the night I had been saying little prayers and, after going to bed, I just couldn't shake the feeling that going to the hospital was the right thing to do.
My step-dad came to our house while the kids were sleeping, my mom was on call in case I needed anything in the hospital, and Jeff took me in. I felt like I was just being an awful inconvenience, because I pretty much knew I wasn't in labor and everyone's sleep was being disrupted based on a feeling I had.
At the hospital, I was hooked up to monitors and had a few tests run. Everything looked normal, but there was just enough reason for the doctor to run another test and order an ultrasound to check fluid levels. That was the first time we got a good look at Gideon's face, which made the trip feel worth it even if we were about to get sent home. Once again, everything looked normal. But, while all this was happening, there was a period where Gideon's heart rate got dangerously low, so they wanted to keep me another half hour to make sure it didn't happen again. Just a couple of minutes later, while Jeff and I were talking about the food we would get on the way home, baby's heart rate dropped again.
All this time, while the doctor was ordering tests and things, it was all being done through a nurse. I never actually saw the doctor. When Gideon's heart rate dropped the second time, the nurse came in and checked a few things and left. A few minutes later, a woman walked in and introduced herself as the doctor on call. She said that the baby's heart rate caused some concern and that the ultrasound showed that his head might be a little small. If I wasn't so far along, she might suggest something else, but, as it was, she thought it would be best to not take any chances and to do the c-section. We agreed to it, and preparations began.
With my other c-sections, I remember being in almost a euphoric state, and I felt so good that I was barely aware of what was going on. They must have skipped the good stuff with the anesthesia this time, because I. Was. Miserable. I was incredibly uncomfortable and, while they had numbed the pain, I felt way too much of what was going on. When the baby came out, I had the same "I can't believe it!" excited moment that I had with the other two, but I found it difficult to keep the excitement up as they spent another half hour or so doing what they needed to do before finishing the surgery. However, it was nice that one of the nurses kept taking Jeff's phone so she could get pictures we wouldn't have been able to get.
Immediately after the surgery was finished, the doctor told me that she didn't want to freak me out while she was working, but I should know that I had a lot of scar tissue from my previous c-sections and that having another baby would be very difficult and maybe dangerous. So, while we were pretty sure we would be done having kids after this, it became official in that moment.
I don't know if I'll ever know if it was necessary to take Gideon out early. Once he was born, there didn't seem to be any concerns about his heart or his head, and he passed every test they did on him in the hospital.
Gideon made lots of noises after he was born, but it wasn't talking noises like Gabriel made when he was born. Gideon's noises were more like noises to soothe himself, which makes sense because he is a very calm baby. He's very sweet, loves cuddles, and sleeps like a champ. Like seriously, he sleeps so much. I have to wake him up to feed him and then fight to keep him awake long enough to finish eating. I absolutely love him, and he already fits in very well with our family.
